Why sad movies make for kinder kids

The Reelist is a column featuring Kristen Page-Kirby’s musings on movies.

It’s the Monday after the blizzard and my 7-year-old son and I are crammed together in a recliner, crying over a bear. Specifically, over “Bear Story,” one of the Oscar nominees this year for best animated short (you can see it, and the other nominees, starting Friday at the E Street Cinema).

The tale of a bear who is kidnapped by a circus and wants to be reunited with his family, “Bear Story” isn’t simply sad. Instead, the Chilean film blends sadness with all the emotions that always make me cry at movies: wistfulness, longing, loneliness.

When I was 5 my mom took me to see “The Fox and the Hound,” a cheerful Disney movie about unlikely friends who make it work. Except that it’s not cheerful, and the friends can’t make it work because society frowns on interspecies friendships, so the fox and the hound part ways and never speak to each other again. I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe, so it’s a little puzzling as to why my mom then got me the book and record set, which I read and listened to and cried over so many times that she eventually took it away. I try not to criticize her or anyone else’s parenting — that’s for anonymous Internet strangers to do — but I wish she had let me keep reading, keep listening and keep sobbing.

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Looking back, I figure my mom took away “The Fox and the Hound” because she didn’t like seeing me so upset. Of course I don’t like to see my son cry, but I don’t mind when he cries at movies. So much of a kid’s early life is spent crying, but those tears are almost always self-serving: I’m hungry. I’m tired. Mom won’t let me chew on the remote control. When movies make children sad, it’s often the first time they’re crying for someone else. Tod and Copper can’t be friends. E.T. goes home. Bing Bong … oh, let’s not talk about Bing Bong.

Movies like “Bear Story” don’t teach kids to be sad. They teach them to be empathetic. And empathy is the only foundation upon which kindness can be built. So I watch sad movies (and happy movies and stupid movies — I hate you so much, Minions) with my son, and we cry together. When we saw “Inside Out,” his red-eyed, sniffling review made me think he doesn’t mind too much, at least not yet. “That was the saddest movie I’ve ever seen,” he said. “I can’t wait to see it again.”

More columns from Kristen Page-Kirby:

One easy way to make the Oscars more diverse

The Oscar nominations are so predictable. I know, because I predicted them.

“Concussion” will make parents wonder: Is football safe?

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