The new Starbucks Cherry Blossom Frappuccino is made with strawberries

Dear Starbucks,

I'm sorry, but you've really walked into this one.

We heard about your new Cherry Blossom Frappuccino and got kinda happy because this is so on point right now, what with our own cherry blossoms hitting their peak soon. But surely the question must have occurred to someone, at some point: Shouldn't a Cherry Blossom Frappuccino be made with cherries? And not, um, strawberries?

Apparently not. Without even a hint of irony, your press release touts this "blend of sweet strawberries and cream with white chocolate sauce and matcha drizzle, topped with whipped cream and a sprinkle of matcha." All, of course, "inspired by the Japanese sakura tradition."

Sakura, by the way, is the Japanese word for "cherry tree" or "cherry blossom."

OK, OK, I get it. It's not cherry season, the blossoms being the precursor to the fruit, after all. But it isn't really strawberry season now, is it?

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Me? I buy my frozen cherries (pitted and everything!) at the local Harris Teeter. I've made a pretty mean syrupy sauce with nothing other than straight-from-the-freezer cherries, sugar, cornstarch and a bit of almond extract. Maybe you couldn't go to that effort. I would even have given you a pass had you at least settled for maraschino "cherries"!

But no, you are basically selling a tarted up version of your very sweet Strawberries & Creme Frappuccino. The whole concept rightfully confounded my hapless barista, who was trying to figure out what the cherry component was when her colleague informed her it was made with the strawberry base. I don't think my order came with the promised mocha drizzle, which seeps a nefarious-looking green swirl into the pale pink beverage in your promo image. Just as well, though. The heavy dose of matcha powder coating our equally heavy swirl of whipped cream looked and tasted more like powdered wasabi than green tea.

I apologize if it sounds like I'm picking on you. I am. But if you're not going to do it right, why do it at all? I'll be happy to see this blossom fade on Sunday.

Sincerely,

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